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Friday, January 21, 2011

Something I noticed recently..

      I happened to notice something peculiar regarding "attachment" parents and how they deal with their children from birth through about age four and how it changes completely by about age six...compared to "typical" parents and their methods at the same ages...
Birth - 5
"Attachment" Parents                                
Hold their babies a lot                              
Co-Sleep/Bed Share                                
Wear their babies                                    
Respond immediately to cries                  
Baby is dependent on others                    

 "Typical" Parents
Feel baby would be spoiled by too much holding
Teaches baby to self-soothe alone in a crib
Teach their baby to play and occupy themselves
Wait a few minutes before reacting
Baby learns to adapt to their routine and knows crying won't bring a parent....


5-and up

"Attachment" Parents                                    
Kids are free to play without interference      
Allowed to try new things/Make mistakes      
Play further away from mom/down the street
Stay with friends                                          
Allowed to watch/know appropriate things    
Allowed some freedoms                                

"Typical" Parents
Parents direct the play/restrict play
Parents hover and warn before mistakes are made
Stay within direct view
Only friends over
G rated movies only until 7, PG until 14, so on..
Not allowed to do things alone

While this is only an observation of a tiny, select few I have noticed..I thought it was funny that the "Attachment" Parents I know "Baby" the baby and allow certain freedoms as the child ages. Creating independence and teaching responsibility. While the "Typical" Parents I know expect the baby to do more grown -up things than I think are possible and yet hold them back from any real independence as they age. I find that so strange. I just can't do that...I will always believe that the BABY should be..well, "Babied". And the older child should be allowed a more "Free-Range" approach as to acclimate to society.

Of course, I know not all people fit into these categories or labels or situations...this is just what I have seen personally.

For instance, I do not restrict/ban ANY movie, art, book or music. I do involve myself with my son and we discuss things openly and deeply. I think ALL things can be and should be used as learning tools. And these things offer a unique non-life threatening way to learn about life situations before one is old enough experience them in person. They can learn about, role-play and experience in the safety of their own home with a parent there to explain, answer questions and direct them in the way the parent sees fit. Well, before the child has to do it on their own.

I think we spend TOO much time trying to childproof the world when we should be spending more time trying to worldproof our children.


  1. Love this post! I feel the same way about attachment vs "typical" parents, although I feel like the switch happens earlier than 6yrs old. Maybe more like 4?

  2. "I think we spend TOO much time trying to childproof the world when we should be spending more time trying to worldproof our children."
    This is great! I plan on restricting things a little more than it sounds like you do, but not near as much as I have seen. I want my kids prepared to face the world.