Want something better than "What To Expect"?....

The Other Baby Book

"This ain't your mama's baby book"

Seriously, this book is so unlike the average books you will find touted by friends and family. In fact, the first thing you encounter upon reading this book is a poem about holding your baby all the time...

They told me babies should not be held:

It would spoil them and make them cry.

I wished to do what is best for them,

And the years went swiftly by.

Now empty are my yearning arms;

No more that thrill sublime.

If I had my babies back again,

I'd hold them all the time!

~Unknown Mama

See? How many books do you see advocating holding babies instead of training them? 

Next up is an introduction to the book and its ideas and values along with explaining how it's set up. There is also an introduction to the authors. Once the "nice to meet you's" and "how do you do's" are out of the way, the book moves into: BIRTH!!! Pushing, prepping, locations and more...it goes over many options and strategies. They cover a LOT of info and leave out the scare tactics. From birth, it moves fluidly into info on things involving the baby, like: eye drops, cord clamping, skin to skin and so on. After each chapter, they even provide you with a list of various other books to check into for even more in-depth learning. Each chapter also includes quotes from real moms,  from the authors and helpful info from doctors and experts. 

Would you believe it also includes info on vaccines, circumcision, co-sleeping/bed-sharing, CIO, bathing, baby wearing, baby led solids, elimination communication and  cloth diapering...? See what I mean about being different?

I should also add that while it IS geared toward the more natural side of parenting, it does cover the other side a little as well and gives options and info. Which wasn't necessary as they are providing info for this side of things where there aren't as many informational books. IF you are truly wanting other info, you can read one of the million usual books on the book store shelf. 

This would make a GREAT gift for an expecting mom. If you know one, do her a favor and get her this book and hope she chooses to read this over the popular ones she is sure to be bombarded with. 

If you care to connect with the authors of this book feel free to follow these links:

website: www.theotherbabybook.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheOtherBabyBook

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/OtherBabyBook

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/otherbabybook

This post is stop #8 on "The Other Baby Book Virtual Book Tour"

Click HERE to visit the virtual book tour line up!!!

I cannot condone a practice by which a baby is taught to ignore his human instinct for it's parents comfort.

     I'll admit that with my son, I did what everyone said to do and followed advice from others. I was 19 and there was no internet at home to just go look up anything I desired. I had "What to Expect" books for my pregnancy info and all of those "Baby" Magazines to help guide me through infancy. Don't get me wrong, those WERE helpful when it's ALL you have.

     In spite of all of that, I managed an epidural free vaginal delivery, I nursed for a month, I co-slept, quickly switched to BLW(although I didn't know there was such), and gently potty learned him in 4 days(although, again, had no clue there was a thing).

     However, even with SO much going against me, I never considered letting him CIO, not once. I KNEW about it, but, I couldn't do that to my little baby. I never expected him to sleep all night until he was ready. I never thought, "He MUST" sleep all alone in a separate room and never wake and if he does, I can't do anything. I never said, "Hey, I will let him cry for a minutes before I worry about him." I just do NOT get that kind of thinking. Babies cry for a reason. Babies NEVER need to learn to fall back to sleep on their own. Babies NEVER need to learn that the cold, dark night is their turn to soothe themselves. Babies NEVER need to be taught that crying is for naught.

    How can you walk into a baby's room and merely pat it on the back and walk away again? How can you continue this every night until that tiny baby learns that nighttime is alone time and their basic needs will not be met? Because you need 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep...baby has to learn a lesson.

     I cannot condone a practice by which a baby is taught to ignore his human instinct for it's parents comfort.

The Sleep Guide for "Informed" Moms.

     First of all let me start by stating that I do NOT advocate implementing sleeping techniques until after 12 months of age. That said, there are nice comforting things that you can use for all babies that may help your little one sleep better.

     From birth, your little one is designed by nature to wake frequently. They are not mature enough physically or mentally to sleep longer stretches. Babies need food, comfort and closeness round the clock. They are designed to wake frequently because it is dangerous for newborns to fall into a too deep sleep. They need to keep a lighter sleep to keep the breathing in check. This a natures SIDS prevention and is easier for baby to regulate if they sleep in close proximity to mom. Not to mention, breastfeeding and co-sleeping go hand in hand, both of those together lower the SIDS risk and help mom get more sleep than her counterparts.

                   These are all different SAFE co-sleeping options. I recommend you figure out the best situation for your family.

     Babies wake often to feed and should not be discouraged from it. ALWAYS nurse baby when they wake, even at night. I am not sure where the notion that babies can and should go all night without eating came from, but, just because one kid you know does/did it, doesn't mean every baby can and should go all night from 2 or 3 months and not eat. Babies have teeny tiny stomachs incapable of holding more than a few ounces. If you pair that with how well BM is digested, and how quickly it is absorbed and used in a growing babies body, it's a wonder any kid goes more than an hour without needing another refill. The only difference between night and day feeding is this: 

•   Keep it quiet
•   Keep it dark
•   Keep it low key
•   Do not talk or rouse baby unnecessarily
•   Learn to dream feed(sleeping on your side while baby eats or finds breast on his own)

All of this together will go a long way in helping baby understand that nighttime is for sleeping and daytime is for playing. Another helpful thing is to provide baby with a positive sleep association. This can include a routine for night, a special lovey that comes out to hold only when being rocked at night and slept with, a special go to sleep song or any number of things you can think of.

     If you prefer, when mom is done nursing the baby to sleep for the night, it can then be dad's job to cuddle with baby for nighttime sleep. This is especially helpful for the older child as mom can roll over and dad becomes the security instead of the breast. This method should ONLY be used on a child over six months old minimum. 

     Make sure baby has PLENTY opportunities for naps during the day and is put to bed early enough at night. A too tired baby is not likely to go down easily or quietly. Trying to keep baby awake all day or up later at night will backfire. Although I DO recommend ample play and stimulation and sunlight during the day, naps are equally as important as the rest. 

     These steps are all I recommend for kids under one year old. No more than these. Even if baby wakes every 30 minutes for every night until 12 months. I'm sorry to say, it is just how I feel.

If your child is over 12 months old and you would like suggestions for sleeping longer stretches, continue to follow all of the above methods and slowly incorporate these into the routine as well.

     You can now move child into a separate crib/room if you must although, I still don't recommend it. Be sure to follow the same nightly routine, this is important. That routine let's baby know what to expect and helps him deal emotionally with the changes. Always put baby into the bed when sleepy, but, not asleep. If baby wakes, respond by patting and "shushing", help baby calm and relax. If baby insists, pick up and comfort and soothe baby until calm again. This may or may not take a long amount of time. If it does, be consistent and comfort and soothe. If it takes 200 times of this, continue. I assure you it will work and baby can learn to sleep without "crying-it-out". 

     The keys to remember are:

• Consistency
• quiet, still nights
• bright, active days
• NAPS
• comfort, soothe, repeat
• routine/lovey (positive sleep associations)
• patience
• do not withhold feedings
• parents share night parenting equally

http://www.askdrsears.com

Explanation of different methods

Sleep Training: Does it work?

     I see it all the time, mom's on the edge because baby wakes up frequently at night. Then, comes the inevitable advice, "Put him in his own bed in his own room and let him cry." Let's discuss that shall we? Ok sure, your kid is now screaming in another room all alone...what is your first instinct? Could it be to run and pick up your baby and comfort it? If it is, why do you feel this is such a bad thing to do? Why fight nature? Babies can't talk, their only form of communication is crying. Babies can't understand time and what is "normal" for us adults. Babies ARE very dependent creatures...they rely on someone to help them, to feed them, to hug them, to do everything for them. Why deny them of all that just because it is nighttime?

     Now let's discuss if this does in fact work. Well, I see it all the time on other pages..."My son was doing well with (insert crazy training for sleep here) and then he stopped, he is 11 months and has been waking up every hour."  Ok, so maybe instead of FORCING this sleep onto them, why not figure out what it is your child is needing, what may be happening?

    I, as an adult, do NOT always sleep for 8 straight hours without waking. I wake up when I need to pee, I wake up when I need to roll over, I wake up when I hear things, I wake up after a dream, I wake up just because and I wake up if I am too hot or too cold. Now I want you to read that again, think on it for a second. Think long and hard about how you sleep every night. Do you always go right to bed and pass out hard and sleep 8 straight hours non-stop every night? I highly doubt it. Do you experience episodes of awakening? Pretty sure you do. Now, your baby has a tiny tummy, an inherent need of someone to do everything for it, a tiny bladder, acute hearing, no experience with house noises or much else...it cannot talk and communicate any need, fear or want to you except through cries. So, I ask, why do you expect this little one to sleep like a rock all night long almost from birth? Not saying it doesn't happen, but, why expect it to happen as though it is a definite set in stone thing? It is far from it.

 Also, studies show that mommies who breastfeed get better sleep than their formula feeding counterparts. Although, at first, your little one will stay attached to the breast non-stop for maybe even the first 2 weeks. No need to panic though, it definitely does even out and become better.