The Birth of an Advocate

   

                          YMCA scene from my wedding on June 18th. My mom, my son, me, my new hubby, his sis, her daughter and her sister..



     This weekend, my mom was at my house. She had taken my son on vacation and was bringing him back. Well, I was online on Facebook at some point and had clicked on a post with some still scenes from a birth while my mom was sitting next to me. My mom was fascinated. You see, she has never seen or experienced natural childbirth. When she was pregnant with me, the only thing she knew about pregnancy was how to get that way. She didn't really know anything else about pregnancy, childbirth, labor or newborns. She was a tiny little thing, barely 4'10" and barely 98lbs when she got pregnant. The doctors told her that her pelvis was too small to deliver anything other than a 5 or 6 pound baby and it was decided that I was a big baby and that she would need a c-section. She was due June 30th, but, was allowed to go until she went into labor apparently because she woke up in the night on July 18th in labor. My dad drove her the hour to the hospital and they whisked her in to the OR at 1 or 2 AM because by 2:18AM I was born. I was 8lbs and 14oz and 23in. so yeah, I was a bigger baby, but, we still don't know for sure she couldn't have me. My mom was put under for the birth because she couldn't take the feeling of them working on her, so, she missed out on a lot. She never planned on nursing me anyway so her missing out really didn't affect that. :)

     In showing her those videos, I wanted her to be armed with knowledge not only for herself, although, she is past having kids, but to be a voice for anyone else she meets that needs a voice. Maybe her niece, or cousin are pregnant and she hears them mention c-section or big baby, I know that now, she will speak up about things after having seen these videos. She was truly fascinated. She asked questions too!! I explained that one birth was an unassisted birth, she asked if it was legal and could you get in trouble. I got to tell her that it is legal here and you CAN take charge if you want. She asked why the mom was on hands and knees and I told her that the position is the BEST for opening the pelvis and making room. I told her that the lithotomy(back) position used in hospitals was the worst and closed up the pelvis more. She asked me why the doctor would use it if it was the worst and I got to tell her it is so they can see better. She was not happy about that answer...you could see it in her expression. I even showed her a breast crawl video, she seemed less impressed. LOL She said well if baby kangaroos can crawl up and into the pouch without anyone telling them or putting them there, why can a human baby find a boob to eat from? Indeed mom, touche.

    Why am I telling you this? Well, I want you to see all of the places where one might inform or educate an otherwise unlikely student/mom. I also want you to see the possibilities for ripple effects from  this bit of info being shed on someone. Now, instead of spreading her story as "I had to have a c-section because my pelvis was too small and baby was too big.", she might start telling the story as, "I wasn't allowed to give birth naturally because the doctors jumped the gun and said I had to have a c-section." Just that change in wording might help the next person think a little beforehand. Would it change the fact she had a c-section, no. Would it maybe prevent another scheduled one for someone else, possibly. Maybe this small change in perspective for her will help her when talking to future pregnant women. It's a start at least.

My Own Birth Story...'Young And Lucky"

     I figured it was about time to tell my own personal story of the birth of my son. At the time he was conceived, I was 18 and single. The only child of a lady that had a planned c-section and no knowledge outside of what doctors at the time told moms. There was no internet and I had no family that knew anything more than my mom.   Basically, I was as clueless as one could get. My only source of information was "What To Expect When You Are Expecting" and any of the random free parenting magazines mailed out to pregnant moms. I would also like to point out, I had no clue I was pregnant until I missed a fourth month of my cycle...I had never been regular and had missed three months in the past. Well, once I did find out, I knew three very sure things...1) I was not getting an epidural, 2) I was not having a c-section and 3) I was going to nurse.

     Time passed and it came the final appointment before my due date...I was 2cm dilated. I joked to my doctor that at that rate, I was going to go another eight weeks before I had him. He said , "No, I will do something about it next visit if you haven't gone by then." I had no clue about the dangers of inductions or the reason why or why not to have one. Luckily on the day of my next appointment, two days after my due date, at 12:00PM my back felt really weird. I called my mom to tell her about it and she asked questions and decided I might be in labor. She was already going to come and take me to the appointment, she came earlier than planned. LOL By the time we were on our way, I KNEW I was in labor.

     I showed up at their office and told the receptionist what was happening and a few minutes later, I was ushered back to check. He informed me that I was indeed in labor, at 4 to 5cm and told me to go to the labor floor of the hospital next door and get admitted. I showed up and was immediately put into a gown, put into bed on my back and given an I.V. Time passed and the OB/GYN came into check on me..he decided that not only was I not moving fast enough, that I needed Pitocin and to have my water broken. This was at 4:00PM...maybe, it could have been earlier. By 6:00PM a nurse asked if I was feeling any pressure, I told her I was and when she went to check me...she informed me the babies head was right there and she was getting the doctor.

     When the doctor arrived, so did multiple others and within seconds, my bed was broken down, my legs were on the stirrups and people were telling me to hold my breath and push for the count of 10. I was told I was doing it wrong and that I was not to make any grunting noises...just put my chin to my chest, hold my breath and push with all my might. So, I did...twice. Next thing I knew, I was told to STOP, that his head was out and he needed suctioned. Apparently, I also "needed" an episiotomy. Well, after that, a half of a push later and he was born at 7:01PM. His cord was immediately cut, he was put on the table and tested, wiped, wrapped and finally handed back to me while they were telling me they had to hurry and take him to test him and put him on the warmer.

     He was finally taken and I was cleaned up and moved to another room. I also got to eat and potty before he was brought back. I at some point nursed him for the first time...quite awhile after he was born. I fed him when he cried..I had no clue if that's how it was done or not. Some lady eventually came to ask how the feeding was going. She watched him feed and said he was doing fine. No other real advice though.

     That night, he slept in my arms in the bed with me...and got to have his temp taken every hour for 24hours after his birth. And the next day, he showed signs of jaundice, so, we got to stay another night. Finally, on day 2...we got to go home. Where I promptly quit breastfeeding at one month old because I didn't have a clue what I was doing...

     Even with all of that, I do consider myself lucky...I went into labor spontaneously, had him vaginally and did nurse him for at least a month. For what it's worth, my next kids will be born at home with a midwife and nursed until fully ripened at the breast(until the quit on their own).

                                                           Right before we left the hospital...