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Friday, May 31, 2013

Imagine How It Feels...

Ok, today, I need you to put on your imagination caps and come with me while we conduct a little experiment. Are you ready? This might be a little tough on your emotions. I need you to commit fully to this experience.

Imagine you are cozy, warm, full and is normal, not scary and feels "right". Nothing out of place. You have been like this for a while. You know nothing else. You are fine.

Now, someone has yanked you from this peaceful place, wrapped you up, stuck you all alone in a room and left you. You are hungry, cold and scared. You are paralyzed. You cannot recognize the language they speak. You are in a foreign land.

Occasionally, someone comes and gets you and feeds you and cuddles you and talks to you. You are happy. They make sure you are dry, full and warm.

Something happens when it gets dark are back in the room on your back, alone, cold, hungry, scared, uncomfortable and wet. You cannot roll over, you cannot speak, you cannot are stuck. What do you do? Do you cry? What happens when you cry? Do they come for you? If they come for you, do they soothe you, comfort you, feed you? Do they merely pat you? Do they shush you? What would you like for them to do?

Imagine that this is not you, but, your baby. They come into this world from a warm, cozy place where they are fed constantly, always warm and comfortable. They are near you and can hear you. Now, they are born and at night, you expect them to lie all alone in a dark room, no one to hold them, to feed them, to soothe them. You expect this baby that cannot move, cannot speak, cannot understand to just lay there and sleep, to not cry, to not want help or fed, to not want love...all because it is dark and you want sleep. They DO NOT understand this, they will not understand this until later.

Imagine as an adult thrust into that situation how scared you would be, how long it would take you to feel alright, to learn to sleep all night...and you are an adult. You have understanding, mature emotions and thoughts. Why expect all that and more from a baby? They aren't even capable.

Cry It Out is wrong, sleep training is wrong, expecting a baby to sleep all night is wrong.