Want something better than "What To Expect"?....

The Other Baby Book

"This ain't your mama's baby book"

Seriously, this book is so unlike the average books you will find touted by friends and family. In fact, the first thing you encounter upon reading this book is a poem about holding your baby all the time...

They told me babies should not be held:

It would spoil them and make them cry.

I wished to do what is best for them,

And the years went swiftly by.

Now empty are my yearning arms;

No more that thrill sublime.

If I had my babies back again,

I'd hold them all the time!

~Unknown Mama

See? How many books do you see advocating holding babies instead of training them? 

Next up is an introduction to the book and its ideas and values along with explaining how it's set up. There is also an introduction to the authors. Once the "nice to meet you's" and "how do you do's" are out of the way, the book moves into: BIRTH!!! Pushing, prepping, locations and more...it goes over many options and strategies. They cover a LOT of info and leave out the scare tactics. From birth, it moves fluidly into info on things involving the baby, like: eye drops, cord clamping, skin to skin and so on. After each chapter, they even provide you with a list of various other books to check into for even more in-depth learning. Each chapter also includes quotes from real moms,  from the authors and helpful info from doctors and experts. 

Would you believe it also includes info on vaccines, circumcision, co-sleeping/bed-sharing, CIO, bathing, baby wearing, baby led solids, elimination communication and  cloth diapering...? See what I mean about being different?

I should also add that while it IS geared toward the more natural side of parenting, it does cover the other side a little as well and gives options and info. Which wasn't necessary as they are providing info for this side of things where there aren't as many informational books. IF you are truly wanting other info, you can read one of the million usual books on the book store shelf. 

This would make a GREAT gift for an expecting mom. If you know one, do her a favor and get her this book and hope she chooses to read this over the popular ones she is sure to be bombarded with. 

If you care to connect with the authors of this book feel free to follow these links:

website: www.theotherbabybook.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheOtherBabyBook

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/OtherBabyBook

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/otherbabybook

This post is stop #8 on "The Other Baby Book Virtual Book Tour"

Click HERE to visit the virtual book tour line up!!!

Why no one breastfeeds anymore...

 

     I happen to have "liked" many parenting, breast feeding and birth pages on Facebook.  One thing I have noticed about ALL of them is that despite posting daily about normal behavior in babies, especially breastfed ones, about how to successfully breastfeed, and more,  at least once a day and sometimes as much as every hour a mom asks the page a question that baffles me. 


"My baby wants to eat every hour or two at night and I need sleep. Why is she doing this and how can I stop it"


"My baby is using me as a pacifier. What can I do?"


"My baby nurses once a day and I give him LOTS of solids and water and juice and bottles of formula while I am at work. My supply seems to be dwindling, how can I get it back up?"


"My baby is 2 days old and not acting satisfied after nursing, so, I let him nurse for a minute and then give him a bottle of formula. How can I get him to nurse more?"


These are just some of the questions I have seen and they all can let me know a few things about modern society that help me to know exactly why hardly anyone breastfeeds or why they quit early if they do.


 We are under the impression that a baby should eat quickly and remain satisfied for hours after a feed(like the modern formula fed counterpart), we believe that babies should go to sleep immediately once placed in a crib and should sleep soundly for most of the night(8 hours is good, but 12 hours is best), we believe that sucking beyond feeding and for comfort is for pacifiers only because breast aren't pacifiers(even though pacifiers ARE breast substitutes for when the breast isn't available to be suckled), we are under the impression that breastmilk isn't supply and demand and should turn on and off like like a faucet(even doctors and nurses don't seem to get this one).....


Then, you add in the fact that "breastfeeding is a private thing reserved for mom and baby alone and hidden from view of the world.", that daddies "absolutely CANNOT ever, ever bond with baby unless he gets to bottle feed at least a million times.", that " breasts are sexual ONLY and only for your husband to touch because a baby touching them is child porn and exposing he child to sex.", that "breastfeeding is GROSS and that formula is WAY easier and full of SO MANY vitamins and minerals that breastmilk doesn't have"., and "everyone and their mom and sister and grandma and best friends and dog had formula and are JUST FINE even though they all have breast cancer, hypertension, strokes, diabetes, asthma....and so on." .....


Every ad you see has a bottle fed baby, every show you watch has a bottle fed baby, every family you see in town is bottle feeding their baby in public, every doll you own has a bottle, every book you read has a bottle fed baby...


Your mom keeps telling you that baby isn't satisfied if he wants to eat every 2 hours and you should formula feed, your grandma thinks it's gross and tells you to formula feed, your hubby doesn't want you to nurse in front of ANYONE and wants you to formula feed, the doc thinks baby is a little lighter than average and wants you to formula feed, your best friends baby was formula fed and slept all night from day one(she also allowed baby to scream until it passed out from day one)...


So...If you have believed these things, saw these things, heard these things and were told these things....


It's no wonder we all quit. How could you not? It's just failure waiting to happen and IF, IF you happened to nurse beyond the first day, week, month or year...you deserve a standing ovation.  Think of everything you overcame. The obstacles are MANY. The help is few.


How can we counteract ALL this that is SO against breastfeeding? Can you think of some ways?

The Sleep Guide for "Informed" Moms.

     First of all let me start by stating that I do NOT advocate implementing sleeping techniques until after 12 months of age. That said, there are nice comforting things that you can use for all babies that may help your little one sleep better.

     From birth, your little one is designed by nature to wake frequently. They are not mature enough physically or mentally to sleep longer stretches. Babies need food, comfort and closeness round the clock. They are designed to wake frequently because it is dangerous for newborns to fall into a too deep sleep. They need to keep a lighter sleep to keep the breathing in check. This a natures SIDS prevention and is easier for baby to regulate if they sleep in close proximity to mom. Not to mention, breastfeeding and co-sleeping go hand in hand, both of those together lower the SIDS risk and help mom get more sleep than her counterparts.

                   These are all different SAFE co-sleeping options. I recommend you figure out the best situation for your family.

     Babies wake often to feed and should not be discouraged from it. ALWAYS nurse baby when they wake, even at night. I am not sure where the notion that babies can and should go all night without eating came from, but, just because one kid you know does/did it, doesn't mean every baby can and should go all night from 2 or 3 months and not eat. Babies have teeny tiny stomachs incapable of holding more than a few ounces. If you pair that with how well BM is digested, and how quickly it is absorbed and used in a growing babies body, it's a wonder any kid goes more than an hour without needing another refill. The only difference between night and day feeding is this: 

•   Keep it quiet
•   Keep it dark
•   Keep it low key
•   Do not talk or rouse baby unnecessarily
•   Learn to dream feed(sleeping on your side while baby eats or finds breast on his own)

All of this together will go a long way in helping baby understand that nighttime is for sleeping and daytime is for playing. Another helpful thing is to provide baby with a positive sleep association. This can include a routine for night, a special lovey that comes out to hold only when being rocked at night and slept with, a special go to sleep song or any number of things you can think of.

     If you prefer, when mom is done nursing the baby to sleep for the night, it can then be dad's job to cuddle with baby for nighttime sleep. This is especially helpful for the older child as mom can roll over and dad becomes the security instead of the breast. This method should ONLY be used on a child over six months old minimum. 

     Make sure baby has PLENTY opportunities for naps during the day and is put to bed early enough at night. A too tired baby is not likely to go down easily or quietly. Trying to keep baby awake all day or up later at night will backfire. Although I DO recommend ample play and stimulation and sunlight during the day, naps are equally as important as the rest. 

     These steps are all I recommend for kids under one year old. No more than these. Even if baby wakes every 30 minutes for every night until 12 months. I'm sorry to say, it is just how I feel.

If your child is over 12 months old and you would like suggestions for sleeping longer stretches, continue to follow all of the above methods and slowly incorporate these into the routine as well.

     You can now move child into a separate crib/room if you must although, I still don't recommend it. Be sure to follow the same nightly routine, this is important. That routine let's baby know what to expect and helps him deal emotionally with the changes. Always put baby into the bed when sleepy, but, not asleep. If baby wakes, respond by patting and "shushing", help baby calm and relax. If baby insists, pick up and comfort and soothe baby until calm again. This may or may not take a long amount of time. If it does, be consistent and comfort and soothe. If it takes 200 times of this, continue. I assure you it will work and baby can learn to sleep without "crying-it-out". 

     The keys to remember are:

• Consistency
• quiet, still nights
• bright, active days
• NAPS
• comfort, soothe, repeat
• routine/lovey (positive sleep associations)
• patience
• do not withhold feedings
• parents share night parenting equally

http://www.askdrsears.com

Explanation of different methods