THE PROBLEM WITH KIDS TODAY

     One statement I truly despise is one that contains the words: "kids today" and lump them all into some imaginary box where they apparently all whine, moan, act up, feel entitled, are without manners and so on...I am utterly sick to death of hearing this phrase. If you say you don't spank, then, apparently that means you do nothing in the way of discipline and allow your child carte blanche to do as he/she please with no consequences, redirection...anything. If you bring up anything about kids, there will ALWAYS be that one person, you know who I am talking about...that one that says: "Kids today are out of control and awful, they have no manners, no discipline and are so rude and wild. They all act entitled." 

Well, I've got news for you person..."kids today" are no more crazy and wild than yesterday, last year, or a hundred years ago. 

     Um, first of all, this isn't a problem with "kids today". It is a kid behavior paired with adult perception issue. Not to mention, this has been going on since the beginning of time. Seriously.




Let's take it back some:

      1963

 


A little further:

1907

                  Kenneth John Freeman, for his Cambridge dissertation published in 1907

 "The counts of the indictment are luxury, bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect to elders, and a love for chatter in place of exercise. …

Children began to be the tyrants, not the slaves, of their households. They no longer rose from their seats when an elder entered the room; they contradicted their parents, chattered before company, gobbled up the dainties at table, and committed various offences against Hellenic tastes, such as crossing their legs. They tyrannised over the paidagogoi and schoolmasters."

A little further:

A.D. 1274

"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress." Peter the Hermit

And still further:

8th century BC 

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless
beyond words.

When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of
elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of
restraint.
--- Hesiod, Eighth Century B.C. 

So, you see, "kids today" are exactly how they have ALWAYS been and how they will forever be. This isn't new or odd or weird or different. This is how it is. That saying isn't an excuse to be rude to kids and teens or to belittle them or to have no hope. It is a sign that YOU are the one perceiving their behavior through prejudiced eyes and  closed mind. Open your heart and your eyes and realize that "kids today" may in fact be a product of "parents today" that were "kids today" at one time. 

Want something better than "What To Expect"?....

The Other Baby Book

"This ain't your mama's baby book"

Seriously, this book is so unlike the average books you will find touted by friends and family. In fact, the first thing you encounter upon reading this book is a poem about holding your baby all the time...

They told me babies should not be held:

It would spoil them and make them cry.

I wished to do what is best for them,

And the years went swiftly by.

Now empty are my yearning arms;

No more that thrill sublime.

If I had my babies back again,

I'd hold them all the time!

~Unknown Mama

See? How many books do you see advocating holding babies instead of training them? 

Next up is an introduction to the book and its ideas and values along with explaining how it's set up. There is also an introduction to the authors. Once the "nice to meet you's" and "how do you do's" are out of the way, the book moves into: BIRTH!!! Pushing, prepping, locations and more...it goes over many options and strategies. They cover a LOT of info and leave out the scare tactics. From birth, it moves fluidly into info on things involving the baby, like: eye drops, cord clamping, skin to skin and so on. After each chapter, they even provide you with a list of various other books to check into for even more in-depth learning. Each chapter also includes quotes from real moms,  from the authors and helpful info from doctors and experts. 

Would you believe it also includes info on vaccines, circumcision, co-sleeping/bed-sharing, CIO, bathing, baby wearing, baby led solids, elimination communication and  cloth diapering...? See what I mean about being different?

I should also add that while it IS geared toward the more natural side of parenting, it does cover the other side a little as well and gives options and info. Which wasn't necessary as they are providing info for this side of things where there aren't as many informational books. IF you are truly wanting other info, you can read one of the million usual books on the book store shelf. 

This would make a GREAT gift for an expecting mom. If you know one, do her a favor and get her this book and hope she chooses to read this over the popular ones she is sure to be bombarded with. 

If you care to connect with the authors of this book feel free to follow these links:

website: www.theotherbabybook.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheOtherBabyBook

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/OtherBabyBook

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/otherbabybook

This post is stop #8 on "The Other Baby Book Virtual Book Tour"

Click HERE to visit the virtual book tour line up!!!

Why no one breastfeeds anymore...

 

     I happen to have "liked" many parenting, breast feeding and birth pages on Facebook.  One thing I have noticed about ALL of them is that despite posting daily about normal behavior in babies, especially breastfed ones, about how to successfully breastfeed, and more,  at least once a day and sometimes as much as every hour a mom asks the page a question that baffles me. 


"My baby wants to eat every hour or two at night and I need sleep. Why is she doing this and how can I stop it"


"My baby is using me as a pacifier. What can I do?"


"My baby nurses once a day and I give him LOTS of solids and water and juice and bottles of formula while I am at work. My supply seems to be dwindling, how can I get it back up?"


"My baby is 2 days old and not acting satisfied after nursing, so, I let him nurse for a minute and then give him a bottle of formula. How can I get him to nurse more?"


These are just some of the questions I have seen and they all can let me know a few things about modern society that help me to know exactly why hardly anyone breastfeeds or why they quit early if they do.


 We are under the impression that a baby should eat quickly and remain satisfied for hours after a feed(like the modern formula fed counterpart), we believe that babies should go to sleep immediately once placed in a crib and should sleep soundly for most of the night(8 hours is good, but 12 hours is best), we believe that sucking beyond feeding and for comfort is for pacifiers only because breast aren't pacifiers(even though pacifiers ARE breast substitutes for when the breast isn't available to be suckled), we are under the impression that breastmilk isn't supply and demand and should turn on and off like like a faucet(even doctors and nurses don't seem to get this one).....


Then, you add in the fact that "breastfeeding is a private thing reserved for mom and baby alone and hidden from view of the world.", that daddies "absolutely CANNOT ever, ever bond with baby unless he gets to bottle feed at least a million times.", that " breasts are sexual ONLY and only for your husband to touch because a baby touching them is child porn and exposing he child to sex.", that "breastfeeding is GROSS and that formula is WAY easier and full of SO MANY vitamins and minerals that breastmilk doesn't have"., and "everyone and their mom and sister and grandma and best friends and dog had formula and are JUST FINE even though they all have breast cancer, hypertension, strokes, diabetes, asthma....and so on." .....


Every ad you see has a bottle fed baby, every show you watch has a bottle fed baby, every family you see in town is bottle feeding their baby in public, every doll you own has a bottle, every book you read has a bottle fed baby...


Your mom keeps telling you that baby isn't satisfied if he wants to eat every 2 hours and you should formula feed, your grandma thinks it's gross and tells you to formula feed, your hubby doesn't want you to nurse in front of ANYONE and wants you to formula feed, the doc thinks baby is a little lighter than average and wants you to formula feed, your best friends baby was formula fed and slept all night from day one(she also allowed baby to scream until it passed out from day one)...


So...If you have believed these things, saw these things, heard these things and were told these things....


It's no wonder we all quit. How could you not? It's just failure waiting to happen and IF, IF you happened to nurse beyond the first day, week, month or year...you deserve a standing ovation.  Think of everything you overcame. The obstacles are MANY. The help is few.


How can we counteract ALL this that is SO against breastfeeding? Can you think of some ways?