Newtown, Connecticut Tribute 12/14/12

The names and birth dates of the victims:

Charlotte Bacon (2/22/06), 6 years old, female

Daniel Barden (9/25/05), 7 years old, male

Rachel Davino (7/17/83), Staff member, 29 years old, female

Olivia Engel (7/18/06), 6 years old, female

Josephine Gay (12/11/05), 7 years old, female

Ana M. Marquez-Greene (4/4/06), 6 years old, female

Dylan Hockley (3/8/06), 6 years old, male

Dawn Hochsprung (6/28/65), Principal, 47 years old, female

Madeleine F. Hsu (7/10/06), 6 years old, female

Catherine V. Hubbard (6/8/06), 6 years old, female

Chase Kowalski (10/31/05), 7 years old, male

Nancy Lanza, 52 years old, female (mother of shooter Adam Lanza)

Jesse Lewis (6/30/06), 6 years old, male

James Mattioli (03/22/06), 6 years old, male

Grace McDonnell (11/4/05), 7 years old, female

Anne Marie Murphy (7/25/60), Staff member, 52 years old, female

Emilie Parker (05/12/06), 6 years old, female

Jack Pinto (05/05/06), 6 years old, male

Noah Pozner (11/20/06), 6 years old, male

Caroline Previdi (9/07/06), 6 years old, female

Jessica Rekos (5/10/06), 6 years old, female

Avielle Richman (11/17/06) 6 years old, female

Lauren Rousseau (June 1982), Staff member, 30 years old, female

Mary Sherlach (2/11/56), Staff member, 56 years old, female

Victoria Soto (11/04/85), Staff member, 27 years old, female

Benjamin Wheeler (09/12/06), 6 years old, male

Allison N. Wyatt (07/03/06), 6 years old, female

GUEST POST!!! That Mama Gretchen ~ "Why We Will Be Waiving the Hepatitis B Vaccine"

"This post was originally published at That Mama Gretchen"





source

As soon as most American babies are earth side they are poked with their first vaccination - Hepatitis B in accordance with the CDC recommendation. This at-birth vaccination is the first of three shots for Hepatitis B. Some resources claim that the three shots provide a lifetime of protection, others believe the immunity provided by vaccination is short-lived stating that, "Between 30-50% of vaccinated individuals may lose their antibodies within 7 years."  

So why is this seemingly controversial vaccine routine for newborns? The CDC website simply states, "to protect against Hepatitis B". But are the majority of newborn babies truly at risk of contracting Hepatitis B?

Often times, the answer is a resounding, "No!" Of course, as with all vaccine decisions choosing to waive the Hepatitis B vaccine is a case by case scenario. Each family must research and determine their individual risk before coming to their own conclusion. In our case, neither Jemma or baby brother will be vaccinated for Hepatitis B as newborns.

Here's why ...

WHAT IS HEPATITIS B?
Hepatitis B is an awful virus which plagues many people around the world, many of whom are children. Hepatitis B is caused by the hepatitis B virus (HBV). The virus interferes with the functions of the liver and activates the immune system, which produces a specific reaction to combat the virus. As a consequence of pathological damage, the liver becomes inflamed. A small percentage of infected people cannot get rid of the virus and become chronically infected – these people are at high risk of death from cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer.

Most people who contract Hepatitis B experience flu-like symptoms and recover on their own without medical intervention. It is a small percentage who experience chronic issues.

HOW IS IT CONTRACTED?
For us, this information was the biggest contributor to our decision. Hepatitis B can be contracted from:

• Prenatally, from mama to baby - if mama has it, baby may get it too
• Unsafe needle use - drugs, unsterilized needle use, blood transfusions, etc.
• Unprotected sexual contact
• Sharing personal products (razors, etc.) with an infected person

Our family doesn't fall into any of these risks, and therefore, the risk of the vaccine is greater than the risk of contracting the Hepatitis B virus.

WHAT IS THE RISK OF THE VACCINE?

• In 1996 only 54 cases of the disease were reported to the CDC in the 0-1 age group.
• That year there were 3.9 million births, making the infected percentage just 0.001.
• That same year the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) logged 1,080 negative reports for the 0-1 age group, 47 of which were death.

Simply, for every child with Hepatitis B there were 20 that were reported to have severe complications. And, in most cases, only 10% of adverse reactions are reported to VAERS which means ... Traditional medicine is harming 200 children to protect one from Hepatitis B. 

Adverse reactions range from diarrhea to nausea to allergic reactions to seizures.  All of which can be life threatening to a tiny newborn.

I hope this information is helpful for new parents as they evaluate their family's personal vaccine plan. It is amazing to me that someone somewhere thought it would be a good idea to vaccinate all newborns for what is commonly known as an STD. I'm thankful such a vaccine exists, some people do need it! Who knows, my children may need it someday based on circumstances, mistakes, or travel, but at birth, they surely do not. As a parent, it is my job to research and screen what my children come in contact with whether it be something influential like particular TV shows or something potentially harmful or unnecessary like vaccinations. It takes time and energy to research these details. It even takes a little bit of guts to share my findings and decision with you! But I'm happy to do it, for my children's sake and for the benefit of sharing knowledge amongst parents striving to do the very best in caring for their children.

For us, the Hepatitis B vaccine will definitely be waived, verbally with our care providers and in writing on my birth plan. What are your thoughts on the Hepatitis B vaccine?

iv class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> Gretchen is the mama of two little ones, Jemma and Max, and the wife to one fabulous husband. Almost 3 years ago she started blogging at That Mama Gretchen when she was expecting her first baby and working full-time in marketing and sales. Since, she has become a stay at home mama who blogs all about her passion for birth and natural parenting … all while chasing a toddler, snuggling a newborn, whipping up simple meals, and trying to get dressed everyday.

GUEST POST!!! That Mama Gretchen ~ "The Placenta Report"

This post was originally published at "That Mama Gretchen"

Check out this rad button?

I'm going to give you all fair warning on this post. If you aren't feeling the placenta love - read no further. I know I have some family and friend readers who might think twice about our relationship after the placenta report. Then again, I know I have some super crunchy mama friends who will be utterly fascinated like me.

And now, the report ...
I'm three weeks into my placenta consumption and feeling great! I'm not going to give all the credit to my placenta, but I'm givin' her alot. Yes, I've determined that my placenta is female. The non-placenta credit goes to Dominic and my Mama who have been super supporters of my transition from pregnancy to postpartum - lots of yummy food, hugs, and help with the wee ones.

Here's how it all went down ...
After birthing my placenta a solid 40 minutes after Max was born on the bathroom floor, we moved the bowl and placenta into the bath tub. I got stitched up, settled into bed, and then midwife Kat gave Dominic and I a placenta tour. This not only allowed her to make sure everything was fully intact, but it gave us a chance to check out the amazing organ that nourished Max for so long. Luckily, Christine was there to capture the tour in photographs.

Kat wrapped my placenta up in plastic, took it home, and proceeded to encapsulate it. Encapsulating is a process similar to drying and curing meat, so when it is done, it's almost like beef jerky. Then, Kat diced, minced, and pulverized my placenta into a dust and poured the dust into tiny pills. She delivered them to me Friday evening (Max was born Thursday morning) so I could start taking them right away. In the beginning I took 25-30 pills each day; now I'm down to 5-10 each day. I was taking so many because Kat special ordered mini pills for me (size 2s instead of the normal size 0 or 00). I stink at taking larger pills - like, I tragically gag and Dominic can't stop laughing at how pathetic I am. Kat found them through Super Supplements for mamas like me who are interested in encapsulating, but have pill gagging issues.

My jar of pills

I'll definitely encapsulate with future pregnancies. The benefits can't be beat and for $150 it is a worthwhile investment in my sanity. I've found my mood to be quite normal. Whatever that means :) I'm not very teary - I think I've only cried three or four times compared to multiple times each day with my first postpartum experience. I feel overwhelmed, but positive. My milk came in at 36 hours compared to 3 days with Jemma. And, when it came in, it was much calmer and more gradual ... not the painful experience I had with Jem where I was bawling in the shower. I think the biggest clincher was my when my Mom told me that she feels I'm doing really well. She sees a difference which makes me think I'm not making up the placenta awesomeness :)

Here's my first post on placentas for those that missed it. I opted to skip the smoothie and go straight for the pills; more due to timing and respect for my Mom's Vitamix than anything else :)

And, some additional resources that I've enjoyed reading:

• Code Name: Mama - Placenta Smoothie Recipe
• Carolina Placenta Lady - Placenta Smoothie Recipe
• Placenta Encapsulation Instructions
• Placentophagia 

Gretchen is the mama of two little ones, Jemma and Max, and the wife to one fabulous husband. Almost 3 years ago she started blogging at That Mama Gretchen when she was expecting her first baby and working full-time in marketing and sales. Since, she has become a stay at home mama who blogs all about her passion for birth and natural parenting … all while chasing a toddler, snuggling a newborn, whipping up simple meals, and trying to get dressed everyday.

GUEST POST!! That Mama Gretchen!!! "TIPS FOR CREATING A BIRTH GUIDE"

This post was originally published at "That Mama Gretchen"

 

I bet your britches you're asking WHY create a birth plan in the first place. Well, here are my initial thoughts:

• First off, call it a birth guide (or birth preferences), because that's what it is. A birth guide outlines your hopes and wishes for the best possible birth while taking into account potential rabbit trails.
• A birth guide gives mamas control in an often unknown journey.
• It ensures that your "most importants" are explicitly communicated.
• It gives your partner a quick reference. Lord knows Dominic doesn't want to memorize all my hopes and wishes :)

With all that in mind, here are a few tips for creating a birth guide:

WRITE AND REWRITE
When you sit down to write your birth guide, travel back to college and go with the rough draft/work in progress mentality. The first round shouldn't be the last. Once you punch out your initial thoughts have your partner review it. Make adjustments and plan to discuss what you've come up with at your next prenatal appointment. Many times your care provider will ask thought provoking questions and add necessary details. Once you develop your final guide, present a copy to your provider for your file and their reference. It doesn't hurt to ask them to sign it as well! Then there is no doubt you are on the same page.

BE SUCCINCT
Yes, I'm the one who could write a novel with helpful graphs and photos as my birth guide. But, I'm sticking to one page using bullets and simple sentences. I also plan to write a "In Case of Transfer/Hospital Birth Guide", but that is a separate document.

BE PERSONAL
Attitude and tone are super important in a birth guide. You're not the expert (that's why you are partnering with your care provider), but you are an informed parent who is responsible for the final decisions made for mama and baby's health. Birth plans are becoming increasingly popular and I'm assuming many care providers see the same thing day in and day out. Don't be afraid to make your guide personal - fun and witty or add a picture or two. If it stands out to them, I think there is a higher likelihood that they'll pay attention to your requests.

COVER THE BASICS
Consider including the following categories in your guide:

• Environment - lighting, temperature, music, number of people in the room
• Labor - procedure preferences, eating/drinking plan, comfort methods
• Birth - preferred position, access to a mirror, who will be present, cord clamping, skin-to-skin, placenta plan
• Postpartum Recovery - breastfeeding, duration of stay, rooming in, baby bathing, visitors
• In Case of Emergency or Cesarean - who stays with mom and who goes with baby, reuniting

ADD A DISCLAIMER
You may or may not need this little tidbit. But, some of my birth guide requests are less common and I want to remove the crazy factor for those who might be more mainstream. This especially applies to my hospital guide. It will go something like this:

If the situation becomes life-threatening for Gretchen or our baby, we will of course yield to any request for life-saving intervention, upon the briefest of consultation. In the strong likelihood that we have the normal birth that we are expecting, we ask that you refrain from any routine interventions or measures that we have not previously agreed upon. 

Thanks to Hypnobabies for the eloquent wording!

SHARE IT
Birth guides aren't just for parents and care providers. It is important to include your support team so they are informed of your wishes too. Share your plan with family and friends who will be intimately involved in the birth of your baby. Especially those who will be visiting shortly after. You want them to know that some of your wishes extend through your recovery. A birth guide is a great communication tool that allows everyone to be on the same page.

CONSIDER A NEWBORN PROCEDURE GUIDE
There is quite a bit of commotion after baby's arrival. If newborn procedures don't fit into your one page birth guide, don't hesitate to have a newborn procedure guide. Having an outline of preferences and procedures specific to this time is key to continuing the vibe you hope to establish for your birth.

Have you written a birth guide? 

What were some of your key points? I'd love to hear!

 
Still questioning whether or not a birth guide is for you? Read Adriel from The Mommyhood Memos post, 4 Reasons to Write a Birth Plan. It's excellent! 

Gretchen is the mama of two little ones, Jemma and Max, and the wife to one fabulous husband. Almost 3 years ago she started blogging at That Mama Gretchen when she was expecting her first baby and working full-time in marketing and sales. Since, she has become a stay at home mama who blogs all about her passion for birth and natural parenting … all while chasing a toddler, snuggling a newborn, whipping up simple meals, and trying to get dressed everyday.

Nursing covers...just because you want to wear one, doesn't mean it needs to look like Omar the Tent Maker made it.

I'M NURSING DISCREETLY...YOU CAN'T SEE A BIT OF SKIN AND NO ONE CAN TELL WHAT I AM DOING BECAUSE I COVERED UP!!!!!

What the fuck is this?

You could live in this thing!!

There are some smaller options if you really want one...

An UdderCover is slightly less noticeable and ridiculous.

The Loved Baby Shawl is kinda cute.

This is the Moboleez.

And here is a Baby Bond..Simple, Discreet and NOT ridiculously Ginormous.

Hell, a shirt over a tank and just for shits and giggles, a receiving blanket would do the job. Please don't fall for the HUGE ass tent thinking it will make life easier.

GUEST POST!!!!! "The Mommy Wars" ~ Teresa Graham Brett

Teresa Graham Brett is a coach(link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/parent-coaching.html) consultant, and author who founded Parenting for Social Change (link: http://www.ParentingforSocialChange.com) in 2009. Bringing together her experiences in higher education as a social justice educator, trainer, and administrator with her experiences coaching parents, she provides parents with transformative learning programs that help them to parent with trust and respect. She is the author of Parenting for Social Change: Transform Childhood, Transform the World (link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/about-book.html) and the Guide to Liberation Parenting (link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/guide-liberation-parenting.html)

The Mommy Wars

I had a recent conversation with several college-aged women about my identity as a mother and my identity as a woman. It has been over 10 years since I took on the role of being a mother. But I claimed the title “mom” with a great deal of reluctance.

When I became pregnant, I was in the middle of my career (or so I thought) as a university administrator. My first encounter with the liability of being pregnant and being a mom came during a conversation with my female boss about taking on additional responsibilities in my role as associate dean.

During the conversation, I revealed to her that I was pregnant. Her response to me was that perhaps we should wait to see how my pregnancy went before giving me additional responsibilities. If I had a difficult pregnancy, then I would not be able to handle what she was proposing I take on.

That was my first skirmish in the mommy wars.

I soon decided that I needed to start looking to go to another university. It became clear to me that I had hit the limits of my ability to move up in my career in my current situation. I started a job search when I was about 4 months pregnant.

The dean of students position became available at one of the universities I had always wanted to work at, the University of Texas at Austin. I applied without hesitation. When the time came for me to interview on campus. I was 8 months pregnant.

I flew down to Austin believing that there was little chance I would be hired given that I was so pregnant. I gave the 2 ½ day interview my all and decided to let the chips fall where they may.

My second skirmish in the mommy wars came during the interview. I sat in the dean of students’ office with the interim dean. This was a man who was holding the job until a permanent replacement was hired.

He looked down at my belly and told me three times during the 45-minute interview that this job was a 24/7 job. It was clear he didn’t feel I was up to the job, considering my state.

My new boss felt otherwise and offered me the job. We moved to Texas. My boss, all my peers (the other associate vice presidents) were all men, who either had no children or who had older or grown children. I was 12-18 years younger than all of them, and I had a newborn baby.

During the time I was there, I pumped for 2 years. I was nursing the entire time I was there. I left work occasionally at 4 p.m. to nurse him and returned to the office when I had a late program. I worked 60+ hours a week. I was on call for emergencies 24/7.

How often I pumped, when I left the office and returned in the evenings, the fact that Rob and the baby accompanied me to some social functions, the fact that Rob stayed at home and we didn’t hire a babysitter while I did the evening and weekend functions solo, were all topics of gossip and conversation.

Daily skirmishes in the mommy wars.

When I decided to leave that career, even after being offered the top position in my field, vice president for student affairs, I received a call from another woman, a generation older, who I had considered an ally. She chastised me for thinking that another baby would get in the way of my job.

I realized that my experiences in academia as a woman, a mom, had kept me from claiming that title. Even as I wrote this website and my book, Parenting for Social Change, I rarely used the word mom or mother. I always used the gender neutral term “parent.”

I had internalized the belief that being a mom is not enough, or that it is a liability. Moms are not given respect in our culture. Moms who stay at home with their children are not valued. The unpaid work done by mothers is not seen as contributing to the family in the same way that paid work is.

I had bought into those lies.

The real war that I was fighting wasn’t with those around me. They only mirrored to me my insecurities. They mirrored the beliefs I had internalized, that I was less when I was a mom.

Even since I left my career, I have believed, at times, that I am less valuable to my family because I don’t make the same amount of money now as a consultant, author, or coach as I did as a dean of students. I have believed that I am not as worthy.

And yet, in my heart, I know that the work I do in my role as a mother with the children who share my life will have a greater impact that any work I did at the university.

My willingness to parent, to mother, in a way that affirms their dignity and rights will create more change than the many years I tried to create social change in any of my university positions.

As a culture, we value the big actions, the titles, the positions of power. We believe that is where the change is occurring. We believe that is where we most influence those around us.

And yet, it is in our small day-to-day actions, the ways we live our lives congruent with the values of mutual respect and trust that really matters.

It is the ways we hold ourselves accountable for our mistakes and learning that really makes change over the long term.

It is the ways in which we empower the children in our lives, as moms and dads, that results in a better world.

The mommy wars are over for me. Mostly.

I still sometimes struggle with the identity. I still sometimes think my value is reflected in the money I bring to the family. At least now when those thoughts come into my head, I understand where they come from. And, I let them pass on through to their next destination.

GUEST POST!!! "Children Are The Mirror" ~ Teresa Graham Brett

Teresa Graham Brett is a coach(link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/parent-coaching.html) consultant, and author who founded Parenting for Social Change (link: http://www.ParentingforSocialChange.com) in 2009. Bringing together her experiences in higher education as a social justice educator, trainer, and administrator with her experiences coaching parents, she provides parents with transformative learning programs that help them to parent with trust and respect. She is the author of Parenting for Social Change: Transform Childhood, Transform the World (link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/about-book.html) and the Guide to Liberation Parenting (link: http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/guide-liberation-parenting.html)

Children are the Mirror

I have often said to myself and others in the last 5 years that whatever we are triggered by in others is usually a reflection of something we are unwilling to face within ourselves. Of course, I wasn't the first person to say this. Many spiritual traditions, such as Buddhism, espouse such a belief.

Over the last several years I’ve struggled with my relationship with money. This struggle has been on-going throughout my life, but when I worked in my career as a university administrator, I was often able to keep it at bay.

When I left the “safe” world of the institution where I received a regular paycheck, I’ve had to confront this struggle at a deeper level. I’ve known that I am constrained by my fears and beliefs about money. But for whatever reason, I haven’t been willing to look at it until recently.

As the youngest child in my life has grown, he has been my mirror for all the challenges I have about money and the decisions I made as the person who used to be (and often still is) the primary income earner in our family.

I made a decision to challenge myself to squarely face my fears and what I believe about money within myself. When I go into that place of being fearful, I usually feel it in my stomach. So when my stomach starts to hurt and I tense up around some financial issue, this has been my cue to take a pause and explore the beliefs and feelings I’ve been avoiding.

One evening, he began collecting spare change and asked me to give him some money to go get a toy. I asked him to give me a few minutes to think as I began to feel that familiar pain in my stomach.

I lay on the bed and decided to invite the fear to come out of hiding. I just said to myself things like "I need to let myself feel this" and "I invite and welcome this feeling and fear into my consciousness."

It took about 10 minutes of embracing the feelings of fear and the pain in my stomach for the answer to break through the surface.

By inviting the fear in, I realized how I believe that I always make bad decisions about money. Growing up I would hear my mother say this about my father. I feared that I was like my father and couldn't handle money.

The fear that whatever decision I made about money was a bad one was one that constantly lived in my subconscious. Whether it was giving him $10 to spend on a toy, or my decision to buy something to eat for myself when I was out of the house and hungry, or my decision to add a second bedroom onto our small house.

Every decision I made about money, no matter how trivial, was connected to my belief that I always made bad decisions. I even remember how as a teenager, I would question my own decisions believing that I was bound to screw it up.

These decisions were not always about money. I’ve lived in this confusion on a daily basis. I remember many times how I would ask for clarity from others. I would call Rob on the phone or talk in person with him about a decision I was trying to make.

I would question every decision I made no matter how small and he would show up and be my mirror. He would mirror back to me my belief that I could not do it right.

And in that fear and lie, I would be triggered.

It kept me from seeing what he was doing was just the desire of a four year-old child wanting money to buy a toy. Instead I saw his actions as a confirmation of how much I had screwed up in my life. That is quite a burden for a four year-old to carry.

Realizing that I lived in fear of making a decision about money, because I knew I would mess it up, was a big one for me. And, as soon as the realization hit me, my stomach pain went away. I felt this weight lifted off of me. I brought out from my subconscious this belief that undermined me and which I used to punish myself. By bringing it out of hiding, I released a lot of its hold on me.

This break-through allowed me to be present with him around his desire to go buy a new toy in a way I had rarely experienced. I could make a decision and not have it be clouded by my self-imposed confusion.

I could make a decision and not have it be tied to my underlying belief that I always made bad decisions. And, because I made bad decisions, I would pass this trait onto him. That's a whole lot of twisted crap floating around!

Your issue may not be money. But there may be ways in which the children in your life reflect your fears. The situation you hate to enter into with them, because it is rife with conflict, may be because you are holding on to some deep beliefs (or lies) that keep you from being clear and present.

What are the lies you are holding onto about yourself and how do those manifest in your relationships with the children in your life?

It can be a challenge to go deeper and allow the fear to surface. The fear may be rooted in some very traumatic experiences you had as a child. The depth of that pain may make us even more afraid to allow it come to the surface. You may need some support to allow yourself to go there.

But, if we choose not to go deeper, how might we be impacting our current relationships? How might our actions today be influenced by what we choose not to look at in our past?

When we avoid the pain and fear, it maintains it's hold on us. The people in our lives, especially children, bring that fear and anxiety to the surface. If we choose not to face it within ourselves, we can easily project it on to them.

Our lack of clarity, our confusion, our unwillingness to go deeper and expand our awareness of ourselves, directly impacts our relationships with children.

Our work, then, is to face our fears and uncover the trigger. This "work" is really not work in the traditional sense. It is about love and acceptance of all the parts of our experiences, past and present. It is an honoring of those things we have hidden away. It is a love of what those experiences and feelings have to teach us.

Ultimately, it is about loving ourselves unconditionally, just as we hope to do with the children in our lives.

A TM:I, Community Built Website

   I am really interested in hearing more from all of you guys. I would like a lot more input and involvement from the TM:I community regarding parenting topics. So, I plan on asking a QOTD (question of the day) on the page and on the forum. I'm hoping to turn this into a growing community that everyone is involved in and has input in.

I'm hoping to eventually to have a whole website with all the info we can gather in one place and all you guys as contributors. I also would like to link to various other bloggers and sites and links in a categorized way. That way, it will be easy enough to have all the parenting info you could want in an easy to find place.

Is this something you guys would be interested in? Let me know why or why not and what you'd like to see and hear about and anything else that might help. You can comment here, on the page, or on the forum.

When it comes to AP parenting, ignorance knows no bounds

When it comes to AP parenting, ignorance knows no bounds  

     Usually, I am not a fan of labels, BUT, I can understand the appeal of a parenting label to help with finding a community and support in the journey. This label, however, comes with SO much misinformation and judgement that it is hard to "WANT" to be called AP. Like the assumptions that if you are "AP" it means your marriage is failing, your kid NEVER sleeps, you nurse until the kids are 20, your kid is attached to your side 24/7 (and by attached, they mean literally), your kid rearfaces until 18, your kid only eats Baby led organic veggies, they co-sleep until high school...and so on. Honestly, NONE of this is AP. Not one thing. In fact, none of that is "Crunchy" parenting. Hell, while we're at it, that's not even something "extreme" parents do.

     Let's look at some labels and what they ACTUALLY mean. We will start with AP, the most misunderstood of all...

Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well-being. In extreme and rare conditions, the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of a child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.
When mothers are taught to increase their sensitivity to an infant's needs and signals, this increases the development of the child's attachment security. Sears's specific techniques of attachment parenting remain under study.

Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

These values are interpreted in a variety of ways. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, paleolithic lifestyle, naturism and support of organic and local foods.
However, Dr. Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Dr. Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments.

Hmmm...I don't don't see any of the misguided attitudes listed up there. It doesn't say AP parents need to breastfeed, co-sleep forever, or cloth diaper or wear their kid. That's odd because there are SO many people that say you have to before you can be AP and SO many people that claim they HATE AP parents and what they are. Turns out, they hate themselves, because MOST parents fall under AP if you look at the principles alone.

     Crunchy parenting is really what Silky people dislike, they just confuse the two since a lot of AP parents do crunchy things. A crunchy parent, DOES believe in: 

• Natural childbirth and/or home birth
• No infant circumcision
• Breastfeeding according to WHO recommendations and using baby-led weaning
• Baby-led solids
• Cloth diapering
• Reusable menstrual products
• Fertility Awareness Method for birth control and conception
• Co-sleeping (bed sharing)
• Baby wearing (slings etc.)
• Buying organic and local foods
• Vegetarianism/Veganism
• Rejection of “Western medicine” in favor of homeopathy, herbs, naturopathy, chiropractic, etc.
• Not vaccinating or using an alternative vaccination schedule
• Homeschooling
• Gentle Discipline

See...there is a difference. AP and Crunchy are NOT the same thing. You cannot lump them together. So, it is  NOT AP you loathe. You might loathe Crunchy parenting.

Another label is Silky. A Silky parent is polar opposite of Crunchy. If Crunchy does it, Silky doesn't and vice versa. Silky parents:

1. Formula Feed
2. Induce
3. Get Epidurals
4. Put baby in its own bed/room day 1
5. Use CIO
6. Put baby in PCD(Plastic Containment Devices)
7. Feed baby cereal early plus jarred baby food
8. Vaccinate on time and fully
9. Spank
10. Disposable Diapers
11. Circumcise

You get the picture.

Lastly is Mainstream parenting...they enjoy a mix of all the styles. 

     When you start labeling and griping and throwing fits and hurling insults at people, at least get it right. Don't accuse everyone of being AP when they are really Crunchy, or call a Silky a Mainstream mom. Seriously...all the AP bashing is just getting ridiculous and causing people to avoid it like the plague. And it's not even their fault. 

(Click here for link to the original post I am responding to)

     So, Miss Detachment Parenting Mom, most of us AP moms think your daughters life sounds like hell. And poor dad that never gets to see his daughter awake at night because you put her to bed at 7:30 so you can have romantic single people supper...and go on childless couple trips. I mean...that just sounds über fun. NOT! I actually enjoy my kid. He also managed to sleep ALL. NIGHT. LONG. from 12 weeks old, in my bed, even when I wasn't in it. OH EM GEE!!!! How on earth did I accomplish that feat without throwing my kid in the crib in another room and using St. Sleeps A Lots book? And really, 12 hours a night? No baby needs to sleep like that. And not a lot of adults can pull that off. Not without an Ambien. Maybe that's how you got by...

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The Mom: Informed

F*CK you FB and all you D*MBA$$ people that report pictures wrongly!!

This is a picture of a mother desperately trying to feed her child with something that should be free and plentiful. Something that the majority of people in America take for granted. Breastmilk. In America, the majority of women that give birth are well fed, healthy and not lacking basic needs. Another thing they have are options. They have the option of nursing their child with full, free flowing milk from their breasts. They have the option of using donor milk from another mother with full, free flowing milk from her breasts. They even have the option of choosing to use a man made concoction, breast milk substitute in breast substitute bottles. Formula and bottles intended to replace moms breast when mom is not able to provide/produce milk of her own. These are options that most of us have here. You would think that since most of us have FREE, plentiful and healthy milk in our breasts after delivery that would be the first option and that the majority would choose that. However, that is NOT the case. I hardly ever see a lady here choose to nurse. They always just go for the bottle because its "easier", because it isn't "gross", because it is "just the same". And that is fine, really. You have that choice. You have that option. You have the ability to get to choose. Sure, there are valid reasons why you cannot choose to nurse and for that we are all thankful for formula. But, this lady in the picture, she doesn't get to have options. She nurses. Her child isn't thriving, he is barely surviving.

So now, for my point, I am not saying you have to nurse, that formula is evil or anything judgmental against anyone. What I am saying is that I would like for everyone to at least realize how much you have, how privileged you are, how lucky you are that you even had a chance to choose how to feed your kid and even if nursing was not an option, you have the option of donor milk or formula in your arsenal. You weren't forced to starve while trying to nurse your equally starved baby.

When you look at this picture, your first reaction should be sadness, horror and pity. It should NEVER be sarcasm, puns and derogatory statements.

When you see this picture, your first reaction should not be to report. It should not be thought of as nasty, gross or sickening.

NO nursing mom should be thought of this way. Not one with free flowing milk and certainly not one as desperate as the one above.

STOP reporting them. What the fuck is the matter with you that reporting this picture makes any kind of sense? The picture should cause you to think, to feel sad, to want to do something to help. If it makes you feel guilty, then perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Maybe you should rethink your life and fix that. Reporting the picture, however, is ridiculous.

Gallery Of Babywearing

Babywearing is not only awesome, it's convenient and good for baby. Most everyone that knows anything about wearing a baby knows about Bjorns or Snuglis. Those are NOT good for baby's hips or spine. So, I want to show you some carriers that aren't as well known, but, are excellent for baby. Moby Wrap and Ergo are good carriers, but, again...very well known. I am hoping with this post to introduce you to a world of carriers you may not have known to exist.

First, I'd like to link you to a few great posts explaining about carriers and reputable places to buy them.

http://betterbabywearing.blogspot.com/2010/03/babyweaing-overload.html

https://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p1IiFbzF2Rif1tmPRn4j4XA

http://www.theportablebaby.com/carrierfeatures.html

http://paxbaby.com/

And now for the show...Starring WRAPS!!!

Didymos Black Hemp Pfau

BBSlen Red Currant

Girasol

Didymos Ellipsen

Didymos Mille

Didymos Agave

Ellevill Jade Forest (Double Rebozo Shoulder To Shoulder [DRS2S])

Ellevill Zara Sun (Double Hammock)

Ellevill Zara Sun (Front Wrap Cross Carry)

Vatanai

Vatanai

Ellevill Zara Caffe

Girasol Light Rainbow Diamond Weave (Front Wrap Cross Carry [FWCC])

Girasol Fresh Grapes (Double Hammock)

Ellevill Wraps

Ellevill Wrap

Girasol

Didymos Nepomuk

Hoppiz

Mexican Rebozo

Simon

Storchenweige (w/17mo. 27lb. baby)

Storchenweige 

Storchenweige (w/3y/o 40lb kid)

Vatanai+blueberry+wrap

Vatanai+blueberry+wrap

Ellevill Zara

girasol+ardent+in+a+double+hammock

girasol+frigga+in+a+rebozo

Didymos Elberg Fish

Didymos+mystic+petrol+hemp

+25lb,+27+month+old+in+a+girasol+woven+wrap.+Double+hammock+carry

Bara Barn Salsa (Rebozo)

Bara Barn Salsa

Gypsy Mama Bali Breeze (GMBB)

Oscha Starry Night Forget-Me-Not 5

Storchenweige Lily size 6

Storchenweige+Lily+size+6

Vat maruyama Fwcc

Winered+Cashmere+Swallows+7

back+carry+in+a+Vatanai.+Very+lightweight+&+supportive

Amitola Cream weft 2 (ruck tied in front)

Girasol Clover Azul Pacifico (4) ruck tied in front with a preschooler

Tandem wearing Donau in front, Tri green in the back

Tri Green

Natibaby Green Flamingos

Girasol Snow Rainbow Diamond Weave

And now some Soft Structured Carriers(SCC), Mei Tais(MT), Bobas, Kinderpacks, Podaegis(PODS), Wrap Conversion Mei Tais(WCMT), Becos and few others.

 5 month old in Beco Gemini at the Great Wall of China

dad wearing sleeping 2 week old in Beco Gemini

Mesh Full Blanket POD

And finally, Ring Slings and Pouch Slings:

http://sesasha.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/babywearing-adventures-the-hug-carry-or-a-cross-wrap-front-hold/

http://sesasha.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/babywearing-adventures-the-rucksack-carry/

http://s1117.photobucket.com/albums/k588/jzuwayed/baby%20wearing/#!cpZZ1QQtppZZ20