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Monday, November 14, 2011

No Spanking =/= Permissive Parenting

Ok, I totally feel I MUST write and get out all of my frustrations on this...


Yes, I agree with the APP that spanking is NOT a great way to discipline a child. A small helpless child that does NOT possess the same level of understanding and complex thought as an adult. That does NOT have the same command of the language that an adult has. 








I also agree that "Time-Outs" may not be the exact best solution either. 


BUT!!!!!!


Here is what I don't agree with: 


"OMG, if you don't hit or put in a time out, your kid will be a undisciplined demon child that cannot control himself."


"How else would you get a kid to mind if not for spanking and time-outs?"


"Kids that aren't spanked or put into time outs grow up to be selfish entitled little brats."


And so on...


What I need to know is WHERE in my talking did I ever suggest that kids are NEVER to be taught right from wrong, never to be told no, never to be disciplined at all?


That's right. I didn't say that. No spanking/time-out =/= permissive, non-punishment consequence parenting. EVER!


You can very well raise a great kid into a great adult and never spank them. Wow, big shocker. How can this happen? I'll show you...


Here's a start:


http://www.positive-parents.org/search/label/discipline

http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=198968&A=SearchResult&SearchID=3057030&ObjectID=198968&ObjectType=55

http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/tag/Discipline/

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/02/gentle-discipline-staying-course.html




Now please, for the sake of your kids, read up and try these out. You've got nothing to lose by trying out this side. At least try to see it before you vehemently defend spanking as though it is a miracle cure. No matter how you feel, it IS still you as a parent hitting your child instead of teaching them.

5 comments:

  1. I don't spank my children, and I am always getting compliments about how well behaved they are. my older two are now 14 and 11 years old (my other one is just a baby), and I've been hearing this since they were toddlers. I have very respectful, kind, caring young men.

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  2. I'm honored that you used an image I made for your post!

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  3. I didn't know you made that. I guess i need to add your name under it.

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  4. I choose not to spank my children, and I do understand that others may make a different choice. I tend to feel that for me there are other ways to show them right from wrong. And knowing my DD, she would probably tell me straight away that "you can't do that mummy" anyway as I have told her and her brother plenty of times that we don't hit in this house!

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  5. THANK YOU for posting this! I've been fighting against that "logic" for 26 yrs now. My three children are now 26, 22 and 19...they were not spanked, and they were not put in time out. But they most definitely know right from wrong, and there was a LOT of discipline in our home.We used positive reinforcement, and we used natural/logical consequences...things that actually made SENSE to us!!!

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