Tuesday, April 23, 2013
A Child Has No Rights.
So apparently, a child has no rights because they are a child. They are humans, they are living breathing souls, but, according to some people, they should not have rights. No rights to privacy, to their own thoughts, own emotions, own space, nothing.
Ok, let's explore the right to privacy...
You believe your child has none. If that is the case, move them into the living room, remove the door off the bathroom and put everything they "own" in a box. Make sure they NEVER have a moment alone. NEVER buy them a diary. In fact, buy a white board and make them pour out their heart and soul onto it and leave it up for the world to see and make the family discuss it at the dinner table. When company comes over, have them pilfer through the box of things and allow them to peruse until they are content. Always stand inside the bathroom with your child while they use it, doesn't matter if they are bathing, pottying...whatever. Take a picture of every movement they make and post it online.
Now, tell me again that your child has "NO right to privacy". Yeah, I do believe they deserve at least a little respect.
A diary should be a safe harbor to write things you wouldn't say to another person, to express feeling that are too hard to share, to release frustrations that can't be acted upon. A way for a sane person to deal with life and emotions. To write silly embarrassing things. Private notes. Special thoughts. Prayers. They are not merely paper to write things for mom to know.
A child is a human, a person and deserves every bit of respect and rights and privacy as you or I. They are not pawns, things to own, less than.
If your child has a private diary, journal, lock box, safe corner...whatever, respect that. Allow them that bit of anonymity, autonomy and privacy. Let them have feelings and emotions separate of yours. Allow them that right to have their innermost private thoughts to be just that, PRIVATE. A child does NOT have to share their every thought or emotion with you. They OWN that thought and all rights to it.
This doesn't just apply to diaries though. It applies to a various and sundry list of things. Though they may be a child that you are in charge of and responsible for, you do NOT own them, nor do you own their feelings, thoughts or emotions. The least you can do is allow them that right.
Friday, March 15, 2013
The Pearls Suck...End Of Story.
Ok, to clarify since some people are just...well, need a "Bless your heart".
I posted a picture earlier that had a collection of stupid books, baby trainers and more on it. One of the pics was of the book, "To train up a child". Someone commented defending them as great folks.
So, I countered and presented her with facts about them directly from their website. NoGreaterJoy.com It showed their advice of hitting a BABY..like 4-12 months...with "a length of weed eater chord [sic]" if they cry to be picked up and continue until they stop crying and begin to show joy again.
“Please give examples of the kinds of things for which you used the rod, both as a training tool and as punishment, for children were under 12 months.”
We never used the rod to punish a child younger than 12 months. You should read No Greater Joy Volume One and Volume Two. We discussed this subject several times in those two books. For young children, especially during the first year, the rod is used very lightly as a training tool. You use something small and light to get the child’s attention and to reinforce your command. One or two light licks on the bare legs or arms will cause a child to stop in his tracks and regard your commands. A 12-inch piece of weed eater chord works well as a beginner rod. It will fit in your purse or pocket.
Later, a plumber’s supply line is a good spanking tool. You can get it at Wal-Mart or any hardware store. Ask for a plastic, ¼ inch, supply line. They come in different lengths and several colors; so you can have a designer rod to your own taste. They sell for less than $1.00. A baby needs to be trained all day, everyday. It should be a cheerful, directing training, not a correction training. If a 10-month-old plays in the dirt in the flowerpot, a simple swat to the hand accompanied with the command “No,” said in a cheerful but authoritative voice, should be sufficient.
When your 6-month-old baby grabs sister’s hair, while he still has a hand full of hair, swat his hand or arm and say “No, that hurts sister.” If he has already let go of her hair, then put his hand back on her hair, so as to engage his mind in the former action, and then carry on with the hand swatting and the command. If you found your baby trying to stick something in the electrical receptacle, keep his hand on the object and near the receptacle while giving him a few swats on the back of the offending hand, and this to the sound of your rebuke—“No, don’t touch, No, don’t touch.” This time he needs to cry and be upset.
If your 10-month-old is pitching a fit because he wants to be picked up, then you must reinforce your command with a few stinging swats. You are not punishing him; you are causing him to associate his negative behavior with negative consequences. Never reward bad behavior with indifference. Tell the baby “No” and give him a swat. If your response is new, he may be offended and scream louder. But continue your normal activities as if you are unaffected. Wait one minute, and then tell the baby to stop crying. If he doesn’t, again swat him on his bare legs. You don’t need to undress him, turn him over, or make a big deal out of it. Just swat him where any skin is exposed. Continue to act as if you don’t notice the fit. Wait two minutes and repeat. Continue until the baby realizes that this is getting worse not better. Most babies will keep it going for 3 or 4 times and then slide to a sitting position and sob it out. When this happens, it signals a surrender, so give him two minutes to get control and then swoop him up as if the fit never happen and give him a big hug, BUT don’t hold him in the manner he was demanding. Now remove yourself from the area so as to remove him from association with the past event.
Don’t ever hit a small child with your hand. You are too big and the baby is too small. The surface of the skin is where the most nerves are located and where it is easiest to cause pain without any damage to the child. The weight of your hand does little to sting the skin, but can cause bruising or serious damage internally. Babies need training but they do not need to be punished. Never react in anger or frustration. If you loose it, get your self under control before you attempt to discipline a child.
If you read through, you will understand why I hate them with a passion and
why I posted the pictures of the cord and the plumbing line.
I do NOT advocate hitting kids. I posted all of this so you can understand my
stand and why I feel the way I do...
I posted a picture earlier that had a collection of stupid books, baby trainers and more on it. One of the pics was of the book, "To train up a child". Someone commented defending them as great folks.
So, I countered and presented her with facts about them directly from their website. NoGreaterJoy.com It showed their advice of hitting a BABY..like 4-12 months...with "a length of weed eater chord [sic]" if they cry to be picked up and continue until they stop crying and begin to show joy again.
“Please give examples of the kinds of things for which you used the rod, both as a training tool and as punishment, for children were under 12 months.”
We never used the rod to punish a child younger than 12 months. You should read No Greater Joy Volume One and Volume Two. We discussed this subject several times in those two books. For young children, especially during the first year, the rod is used very lightly as a training tool. You use something small and light to get the child’s attention and to reinforce your command. One or two light licks on the bare legs or arms will cause a child to stop in his tracks and regard your commands. A 12-inch piece of weed eater chord works well as a beginner rod. It will fit in your purse or pocket.
Later, a plumber’s supply line is a good spanking tool. You can get it at Wal-Mart or any hardware store. Ask for a plastic, ¼ inch, supply line. They come in different lengths and several colors; so you can have a designer rod to your own taste. They sell for less than $1.00. A baby needs to be trained all day, everyday. It should be a cheerful, directing training, not a correction training. If a 10-month-old plays in the dirt in the flowerpot, a simple swat to the hand accompanied with the command “No,” said in a cheerful but authoritative voice, should be sufficient.
When your 6-month-old baby grabs sister’s hair, while he still has a hand full of hair, swat his hand or arm and say “No, that hurts sister.” If he has already let go of her hair, then put his hand back on her hair, so as to engage his mind in the former action, and then carry on with the hand swatting and the command. If you found your baby trying to stick something in the electrical receptacle, keep his hand on the object and near the receptacle while giving him a few swats on the back of the offending hand, and this to the sound of your rebuke—“No, don’t touch, No, don’t touch.” This time he needs to cry and be upset.
If your 10-month-old is pitching a fit because he wants to be picked up, then you must reinforce your command with a few stinging swats. You are not punishing him; you are causing him to associate his negative behavior with negative consequences. Never reward bad behavior with indifference. Tell the baby “No” and give him a swat. If your response is new, he may be offended and scream louder. But continue your normal activities as if you are unaffected. Wait one minute, and then tell the baby to stop crying. If he doesn’t, again swat him on his bare legs. You don’t need to undress him, turn him over, or make a big deal out of it. Just swat him where any skin is exposed. Continue to act as if you don’t notice the fit. Wait two minutes and repeat. Continue until the baby realizes that this is getting worse not better. Most babies will keep it going for 3 or 4 times and then slide to a sitting position and sob it out. When this happens, it signals a surrender, so give him two minutes to get control and then swoop him up as if the fit never happen and give him a big hug, BUT don’t hold him in the manner he was demanding. Now remove yourself from the area so as to remove him from association with the past event.
Don’t ever hit a small child with your hand. You are too big and the baby is too small. The surface of the skin is where the most nerves are located and where it is easiest to cause pain without any damage to the child. The weight of your hand does little to sting the skin, but can cause bruising or serious damage internally. Babies need training but they do not need to be punished. Never react in anger or frustration. If you loose it, get your self under control before you attempt to discipline a child.
If you read through, you will understand why I hate them with a passion and
why I posted the pictures of the cord and the plumbing line.
I do NOT advocate hitting kids. I posted all of this so you can understand my
stand and why I feel the way I do...
Thursday, February 21, 2013
I Lost My A/P Parenting Card To Honey Boo Boo
So, apparently, since I run a page supporting natural, gentle, A/P parenting and that means I must be "on" at all times and NEVER diviate from the "Perfect, Holier-Than-Thou" persona at any time. I must ALWAYS post things pertaining to Natural, Gentle, A/P parenting and never make mention of any activities, thoughts, actions, desires, want, needs or anything else that falls outside of Sanctimommy A/P bounderies. Because no one EVER sees the good things I post and always latch on to the one thing not A/P and will follow that thought to the absolute hilt and never waiver. Seriously folks, you need to get a life.
About Honey Boo Boo taking my A/P card:
I have seen a few episodes, but, I like Alana and Mama June and Sugar Bear. Why? They are genuine, down to earth and love each other. They are ACCEPTING (unlike many horrible A/P Crunchy moms). They do things as a family unit. They overlook flaws. Sure, they eat some shitty foods. They have no manners at home...but, I don't have manners in my own home all the time. I mean, I DO burp and fart. Maybe A/P moms don't? I dunno....
Anyway, yesterday, I posted something about them with the caption, "I like them. I don't even care." ZOMG...that got some people all freaked the eff out. "I like them"...and put them on my page and apparently, that translates into, "Ignore EVERYTHING else in the world...follow this family and do as they do because I comepletely endose them as the worlds most perfect examples of A/P parenting."
Really folks?!?! Really?
Some lady literally, threatened to post my page to all media outlets, to write up a story for NBC news based on this exchange and let me know she had screenshots. Um...chick don't realize people screenshot our page all day everyday. LOL I also am going to go out on a limb and guess that the world doesn't care if I like Honey Boo Boo or not and they for sure don't give a rats ass about my page and my thoughts enough to give a damn what "Mrs. NBC Writer" has to say about me. Friggin laughable. That's what that is. According to her and a few others, I should lose my A/P advocate card and "hang it up" and no longer advocate for babies since I "like" this family. WTF?!?!
Let me explain something to you kind people...The tenants of A/P don't say a thing about Honey Boo Boo or Reality TV or anything close to it...Let me refresh your memory:
"Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:[citation needed]
- Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
- Provide Consistent Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
However, Dr. Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Dr. Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments."
Would ya lookit that? No mention of what I am allowed to watch, like, endorse or mention. Wosers...I guess that means I DO get to keep my card after all. Too bad some people can't see past their FWCC Petrol Pfau to see all the other mommas around them with Ergos. You know, stuck up, snooty Sanctimonious, I'm completely and perfectly crunchy and do it ALL...and you totally do the same thing on a lesser scale, but, aren't worth my time with your Cosco Sceneca..I have a Cleck Foonf because it cost the most type moms. Yeah...
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