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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Backwards World!


     Today's society has their parenting all sorts of backwards...

     First, you have this new baby. A baby that is in all sense of the word: Helpless. They cannot get fed, go potty, change clothes, change positions...can't do ANYTHING without your help. They have a teeny, tiny stomach that needs tiny amounts of food VERY often. They have no clue about time, about wake and sleep cycles, about feelings or anything else. The most they know is that nursing is awesome, mom cuddles are great and that if something isn't right, crying is their only option to get someone to fix what they cannot. 

    Knowing all of this, parents still think it is A-Ok, to feed a humongous bottle of formula and expect baby to be satisfied for 4+ hours and not cry or be hungry, they expect baby to sleep ALL night long (meaning 12+ hours) and not cry, If they don't comply..then baby is expected to "learn" how to be happy laying in the dark all alone for those 12 hours and not to make a peep or expect mom to fix a thing because she needs her sleep and this tiny baby that doesn't really understand a thing is expected to just do this without a fuss. Baby is taught from birth to use the bathroom in their diaper and then magically at 18 month or 24 months, they should just automatically use the toilet with no accidents and within a day. They have been given a bottle or breast or pacifier since birth and  again, are expected to simply give it up because the parent or society decided that 12 months or sooner it should be gone. The kid again is expected to just drop it immediately. Room-sharing or bed sharing is done for hot minute and expected to be dropped on demand at some other arbitrary age. The kid is expected to play alone and not whine, to not touch anything that is within their reach. And so on and so forth....

     These kids are expected to grow up and mature and do SO much before they are even emotionally or physically ready. As tiny babies it is thrust upon them. Then, around school age, maybe sooner...the switch happens.

     Suddenly, these same kids that were forced and thrust into independence and maturity are treated like invalids. No, you cannot play with that or watch that or go on that playground equipment. No, you cannot be in the yard alone for five seconds. No, you cannot go over to a friends house to play unless I am hovering over you. No, you cannot touch this or do that or think that. 

     I seriously read a story recently about a 12 year old that was home alone when the house was robbed and he called 911 and all was ok. There were SO many comments bad mouthing the mom for leaving him alone and comments asking about calls to CPS. For a TWELVE YEAR OLD!  These are the same people that claim my 17 year old shouldn't be left home alone or allowed to go to a friends house, or to be outside alone. SEVENTEEN...  

    No I have to ask...when did we get so twisted around? How is it that people believe a TINY BABY can "self-soothe" and should be fine alone all night for 12 hours without a peep and no food or changing, and yet also believe that a person cannot be trusted with themselves until after 18?

  This perception needs to change and be flipped...seriously.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Judicial System Works

     We, as a country, rely on and trust in the judicial system to convict criminals. Having said that, we must also then rely on and trust that same system to acquit people. That is how the system works. Could there be some flaws? Sure. Innocent people will sometimes be convicted and guilty people will sometimes go free. That is the price to pay. Like it or not, once a case is presented before a judge and jury, lawyers have had their say, and jurors have deliberated and a decision is reached...that is it. The system did its job. 

     If you have a problem with how this system works, there are many avenues you can take in order to try and change it. You can write congressmen, senators, and governors.  You can lobby in Washington. You can hold protests. These are things you are allowed and encouraged to do in this country and what this country is about. Everyone is allowed to do so, no one is prevented from it. It is one of the things that make this nation great. These things don't require you to be a certain race, color or creed. 

     What I cannot understand, is why people think it is ok to beat up random strangers because they didn't like the outcome of a trial. Or why it is ok to stalk or wish harm on someone that was put on trial and deemed not guilty. I understand being upset, I can see being mad...but, to stoop below the level of that persons actions in order to "prove a point" or "provide justice" is the epitome of ignorance and hate. This case was tried in a court, facts were presented and a jury found a man not guilty. Case closed. Yet, there are people that are holding on to emotions, to hate and instead of moving on and trying to build us up as a whole nation. There are those that listened purely to media and their views of what happened that were presented in a way to draw attention, emotion and fuel hate. There are those that won't look past that emotion and deal with reality. 

     Don't spend you time trying to live up to stereotypes, let's ditch those labels and live as a whole. Let's put the hate, the media, the hype and the emotions about it behind us and move forward together. 

     The system works and we need to trust in it. If we only follow what the media tells up to follow and only expect outcomes we want to happen and continue to let our emotions and media be our guide in life, we will never move forward and we will continue to remain stagnant and divided. 

While I am on the subject: Zimmerman was not tried under the "Stand Your Ground" law, it was based solely on "self defence". Also, 911 dispatchers are NOT policemen. Therefore, it is not law that you must follow their orders.

SN: Shooting a gun into the air is illegal because the bullet WILL fall back down to Earth and could hit a random person, you are better off shooting an attacker directly in the chest as opposed to firing a warning shot.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Imagine How It Feels...

Ok, today, I need you to put on your imagination caps and come with me while we conduct a little experiment. Are you ready? This might be a little tough on your emotions. I need you to commit fully to this experience.

Imagine you are cozy, warm, full and is normal, not scary and feels "right". Nothing out of place. You have been like this for a while. You know nothing else. You are fine.

Now, someone has yanked you from this peaceful place, wrapped you up, stuck you all alone in a room and left you. You are hungry, cold and scared. You are paralyzed. You cannot recognize the language they speak. You are in a foreign land.

Occasionally, someone comes and gets you and feeds you and cuddles you and talks to you. You are happy. They make sure you are dry, full and warm.

Something happens when it gets dark are back in the room on your back, alone, cold, hungry, scared, uncomfortable and wet. You cannot roll over, you cannot speak, you cannot are stuck. What do you do? Do you cry? What happens when you cry? Do they come for you? If they come for you, do they soothe you, comfort you, feed you? Do they merely pat you? Do they shush you? What would you like for them to do?

Imagine that this is not you, but, your baby. They come into this world from a warm, cozy place where they are fed constantly, always warm and comfortable. They are near you and can hear you. Now, they are born and at night, you expect them to lie all alone in a dark room, no one to hold them, to feed them, to soothe them. You expect this baby that cannot move, cannot speak, cannot understand to just lay there and sleep, to not cry, to not want help or fed, to not want love...all because it is dark and you want sleep. They DO NOT understand this, they will not understand this until later.

Imagine as an adult thrust into that situation how scared you would be, how long it would take you to feel alright, to learn to sleep all night...and you are an adult. You have understanding, mature emotions and thoughts. Why expect all that and more from a baby? They aren't even capable.

Cry It Out is wrong, sleep training is wrong, expecting a baby to sleep all night is wrong.